So The Funeral
by Trahern
Summary: "The time has come to take our game to the next level," Drakken said, so here are some fatal consequences. Each chapter is unrelated... except perhaps the last two. So The Drama, hints of kigo.
1. Bad Beat, Fouled Hand

The cemetery was beautiful. Everything was trimmed grass sectioned off by flower beds, surrounded on most sides by woods that were just big enough to seperate the place from its surroundings. The result was a colourful, peaceful place to lay the recently deceased to rest.

Mourners gathered. Words were spoken. The coffin was lowered into the grave.

The ceremony ended, those assembled began speaking among themselves.

One among them caught a hint of movement at the edge of the woods, a figure they believed they recognised. Excusing themselves with a whisper, they left the congregation for the treeline to seek the figure out.

"You just couldn't stay away, could you?" Ron said angrily, glaring up into the trees, even though he couldn't see anything.

"Guess not," Shego's voice grumbled from above.

"Why don't you come on over, say hi to the doctors Possible and their _two_ children?"

The villainess dropped into view, surprisingly close, yet Ron didn't flinch. "Don't push it, doofus." They glared at each other, eye to eye, until Shego noticed something that took the frown off her face. "My eyes used to be brown, y'know."

"Huh?"

"Before the comet made me green, my eyes were brown. I remember _your_ eyes used to be brown. Now they're blue." Shego paused as Ron's expression showed his mind was catching up, then continued, "Well, I guess that explains how the sidekick stepped up. Did a space rock crash through your treehouse too?"

Ron's frown was back. "No, and why should I tell you?"

"Because I wanna know."

Again, the blond was preplexed. The sincere tone of her voice was unexpected. "You... you actually want to..."

"Ron," Shego said, surprising him further still, "Tell me what happened."

There was no attitude in her voice. No superiority or sarcasm, no hostility. Ron blinked several times, then answered, "Mystical monkey power."

"Magic, then. Wait, I thought Monkey Fist had the power..."

"He does. So do I. It was that or let him kill me. Turns out there's this whole prophecy thing, I'm destined to be the master of the stuff."

"_You_ know monkey kung fu?" Shego asked with a disbelieving raised eyebrow.

"Well, I wouldn't say _know_... I mean, I've had some training, but... uh, I probably shouldn't have said that..."

Shego sighed and muttered, "Whatever," as she turned back to the gathering across the clearing. "I guess you all hate me now. Don't you."

Ron stared at her for a long moment, then blurted out, "Where were you?"

"When?"

"The final showdown, Bueno Nacho HQ. You weren't there. I was expecting you, not the synthodude."

Shego turned back to the former sidekick. "What synthodude?"

"You really don't know?" The green girl shook her head, and Ron decided to believe her. "Synthodrone with a human head that had an actual face, and talked, and stuff. Drakken upgraded him. Apparently he was going to put him in our school and use him to distract Kim while he took over the world, until you..." Shego flinched, and Ron skipped over the rest of the sentence. "He was hard to take down until Rufus gave him a puncture. Then it was just a case of beating up the henchmen and capturing Drakken. He never even got his little robots working."

"Another robot army?" Shego groaned. "He never learns. So... you stepped up to go on a revenge kick, huh?"

"No," Ron answered with an unfamiliar edge to his voice. "It wasn't Drakken who killed her."

Shego looked down at her left hand and shuddered, then moved it out of sight and hugged herself with just her right arm.

Ron's serious face was back. "I answered your question, now you answer mine. Why weren't you there."

"You think I'd go back to Drakken after _that_?"

"Why not? You're the girl who killed Kim Possible. Now _you_ can do anything."

"Shut up," the villainess hissed, turning away from him. Unfortunately that meant facing the clearing, which didn't do her mood any favours.

Another moment of silence, then Ron told her, "I saw your face, when you did it. After you did it. Was your newfound rep worth it?" When Shego didn't answer, he added, "You can't even admit it, can you."

"I didn't mean to."

Okay, maybe she could.

"Sometimes, I'm so sick of her showing up to save the day. Others, I look forward to it. All depends on my mood at the time. She's... she was the only one who could last more than one round with me. She was a fighter, an artist, like me. Just like me." Now Shego had started, she found she couldn't stop the admissions flowing from her mouth. "I hadn't tried to kill her for a while, you know. Once I recognised her for what she was. It was like we were _meant_ to fight each other. I never wanted that to end. That night... I was enjoying champagne and strawberries and Drakken getting tossed around by Brotherson's muscle, and then _she_ showed up to ruin it. So yeah, I went at her hard. I never-" Her voice broke, but she tried again, "I never thought I'd actually..."

Shego stopped talking. She knew if she tried, she'd start crying; and she wasn't going to do that.

Ron stepped around her until they were face to face. "You regret what you did. That's half the reason we're just talking right now, the other half being where we are." He nodded his head in the direction of the fresh grave. "Next time I see you, you're going down. Hard."

He turned and walked away before she could form a response. Nothing she said would have mattered anyway. As he made his way back to the crowd, he remembered the sequence of emotion that played across Shego's face on that poker table. Surprise. Horror. Panic. It was all he cared to remember of that moment, but he knew it would haunt Shego for the rest of her life, however long that turned out to be.

The only thing Shego would ever remember was her frantic tugging, trying to dislodge her hand from what was left of Kim's face.


	2. Never Wear a Lifejacket Again

The cemetery was beautiful. Everything was trimmed grass sectioned off by flower beds, surrounded on most sides by woods that were just big enough to seperate the place from its surroundings. The result was a colourful, peaceful place to lay the recently deceased to rest.

Mourners gathered. Words were spoken. The coffin was lowered into the grave.

The ceremony ended, those assembled began speaking among themselves.

One among them caught a hint of movement at the edge of the woods, a figure they believed they recognised. Excusing themselves with a whisper, they left the congregation for the treeline to seek the figure out.

"Ron, why don't you come and join us?"

"I can't."

Ann followed the voice to its source, finding the boy sitting with his back to a tree. He didn't look up, but she could see his eyes were red and wet. It almost set her off again, but she held herself together, pulling her skirt up enough to kneel beside the distraught teenager.

"Ronald, there's no reason for you to alienate yourself. Come and say your goodbyes." The blond only shook his head in response. "Why not?" Ann asked.

The question set off his next bout of crying. "I... I'm s-so sorry, M... Dr. P... ih... it's all m-my fault..."

Ann was quick to wrap him up in a warm hug. "Of course it isn't! Why would you ever think that?"

Ron could only sob into her shoulder for the next minute or two, but eventually he answered. "Kim had to deal with the synthodrones and the death ray._ I _was the one trying to get Mr. Dr. P out of the tank!"

"You think you didn't get to him in time?"

"I didn't! The thing grabbed me and whacked me against the floor until Rufus bit it. I climbed back up, but... but he was completely underwater by then and... and I panicked. I should've gone in after him! But I just couldn't... I called Kim over instead. She still had to finish the synthodrones and destroy the ray. If I hadn't waited for her..."

Ann was at a loss for words, so she just hugged him tighter. A part of her was silently screaming that it _was_ his fault, but her rational mind refused to believe it. Like when she had been looking at coffins, and the thought that it would be half-empty set off some near-hysterical giggling...

"Kim dove in, and the monster stopped flailing, but... when she resurfaced and started throwing up over the side... and then h-he floated back up..."

"You don't have to say anymore, Ronald," Ann told him, fresh tears flowing. She could guess the boy's reaction to what he'd seen well enough. She knew James had been bitten in half below the waist. To see that... the blood in the water... the torso bobbing, top-heavy... James' face...

His face had been peaceful, when she saw it. The wife in her hoped his death had been quick, but the medical doctor knew better.

"You didn't grow that monster," she eventually said. "You didn't kidnap James. None of this is your fault. Kim doesn't blame you, none of us do. You shouldn't either."

"It's what we do..." Ron trailed off, then began again with additional remorse, "It's what _Kim_ does. _She's_ the world-famous teen hero. I'm just the sidekick. The bumbling sidekick who runs away or... or_ fools around_ while she saves the day. And when she needed me for something more, I choked. I failed Kim. I failed all of you."

Now Ann knew what to say.

"Oh, Ron. You're not Kim. You never grew up thinking anything's possible for a Stoppable. When Kim saves the world, it's 'no big'; that's why we let her go in the first place. But you're always right there with her, looking after her, despite all the scary things that happen. That's _amazing_... and I can never thank you enough for it."

She rose to her feet, dragging Ron up with her. "Kimmie needs her sidekick, now more than ever. Will you keep looking after her for me?"

Ron stared across the clearing for a moment, then wiped his eyes. "Yeah," he said with fresh determination. "Yeah, okay. Don't worry, Mrs. Dr. P. I'll always have her back."

Leading him by the hand, Ann brought Ron over to the congregation. Kim left Erik's side and ran over to them. The teenagers hugged and cried as everyone looked on. They didn't need to talk. One look at each others' faces had explained everything and sharing the pain was all that remained.


	3. Automatic Choke Failure

The cemetery was beautiful. Everything was trimmed grass sectioned off by flower beds, surrounded on most sides by woods that were just big enough to seperate the place from its surroundings. The result was a colourful, peaceful place to lay the recently deceased to rest.

Mourners gathered. Words were spoken. The coffin was lowered into the grave.

The ceremony ended, those assembled began speaking among themselves.

One among them caught a hint of movement at the edge of the woods, a figure they believed they recognised. Excusing themselves with a whisper, they left the congregation for the treeline to seek the figure out.

"Kim? Are you here?"

Lacking a response, but knowing what he'd seen, he ventured deeper into the woods, looking all around. It took a minute of wandering before he found what he was looking for. Or, more accurately, the opposite. "Erik..."

He turned just in time for Kim to rush into him and wrap her arms around his torso, burying her face in his chest. He held her gently, letting her cry quietly for as long as she needed.

"You know they're all over the place, right?" Erik asked when the tears slowed.

"I know. It's supposed to be a trap. Synthodrones and diablos, big ones all around the cemetery and the building, little ones in the woods. Wade made me something..." the teen hero stepped back out of his grip and held up something resembling a toy ray gun, "It's basically a glorified tazer, but it knocks out the small ones. When it recharges."

"How _is_ Wade?" Erik asked, eyeing the weapon dubiously.

"Hiding. Erik, my family... are they okay?"

"Yeah, they're fine, they're at the funeral. More bait, I guess. Kim... do you know what happened?"

Kim tried not to resume crying. "Do you mean to the world, or..."

"Ron." When the teen hero shook her head, Erik explained. "He went to Bueno Nacho while we were at the prom. I don't know exactly what happened... he freaked over something and went to the payphone outside. Maybe he noticed something, or just made the manager nervous, because the little diablos attacked him." He paused, then drew a sympathetic breath as he carefully observed her reactions. "He tried to escape on his scooter, but... it wouldn't start, and... they swarmed him. He was covered in cuts and burns... all over... it wasn't pretty."

_That stupid scooter,_ Kim thought morosely, before asking in a broken voice, "What about Rufus?"

"They're being buried together."

The redhead nodded. "They both would have wanted it that way. It's too bad... I could have used the little guy's help."

"You've got a plan, then."

Another nod, this one more assertive. "The diablos are being controlled by a signal from one location. Kill the transmission, and Drakken's robot army goes back to being kids' toys."

Erik appeared to think it over, then asked, "How can I help?"

The offer surprised Kim, but she quickly turned him down. "No, Erik. If this was just another mission, I'd consider it, but..."

"But what? Kim, I can help," he insisted, looking her in the eye.

"I'm not trying to stop Drakken from taking over the world this time. He's already actually done it."

"It's true then." Erik elaborated when he saw Kim's questioning expression. "We've only gotten snatches of info from outside the tri-city area since the attack ended. The only thing on TV, radio or the net is that mad scientist declaring himself ruler."

"Well, it _is_ true, but not for much longer. Wade's working on a way to get me to Drakken's lair without being detected. It'll be a lot easier for me to do that alone."

"...Okay." Erik didn't sound happy about it, but seemed willing to accept her judgement. "What _can_ I do?"

"Look after my family. Tell them I'm going to stop Drakken, once and for all. He'll pay for what he did to Ron." Suddenly she clutched at him in another hug. "And keep yourself safe too, okay?"

"You're amazing. Good luck, Kim."

"Goodbye, Erik," she gasped, both emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed at the same time. She wasn't sure she would make it back home from this one, but she was certainly going to try...

"Actually these days, I'm known as synthodrone number nine oh one."


	4. Peine Forte et Dure

The cemetery was beautiful. Everything was trimmed grass sectioned off by flower beds, surrounded on most sides by woods that were just big enough to seperate the place from its surroundings. The result was a colourful, peaceful place to lay the recently deceased to rest.

Mourners gathered. Words were spoken. The coffin was lowered into the grave.

The ceremony ended, those assembled began speaking among themselves.

One among them caught a hint of movement at the edge of the woods, a figure they believed they recognised. Excusing themselves with a whisper, they left the congregation for the treeline to seek the figure out.

Once Ann reached the treeline, she stepped behind one of the trees and leaned against it, out of sight from the others. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled and asked, "Was I seeing things, or are you actually here?"

"I'm here," came the response, and the speaker revealed herself.

"It's Shego, isn't it? The mutant who worked for Drakken."

The look Shego gave the neurosurgeon made it clear that she didn't care for the label, and was half a second away from voicing her opinion before gritting her teeth and saying only, "Yeah."

"Sorry if I'm being too... clinical or literal..."

"Are you? Really?"

"No, I guess not," Ann admitted, her eyes unfocused before returning her attention to the villainess. "What do you think you're doing here."

"I... wanted to see if it was true, I guess. Villains don't usually target family or kids without a reason. I, uh, don't really know how it-"

"They were crushed by those robots when they were activated. Kim and James tried to get them out of the way, but... they died right in front of me."

Shego ignored the accusatory overtones of the grieving mother's statement. "I hope it was quick."

"Why would you care?"

Shego sighed, leaning against a tree and looking across the clearing. "I've got brothers. One's worse than Dr. D and Kimmie's sidekick combined. The other practices narcissism like it's an art to be mastered. But, the other two... twins. Not much older than yours. They're alright. I know how I'd feel if..."

Ann followed Shego's gaze and realised, "This is about Kim."

"She killed Drakken, you know. She didn't have to, but she did. Would've killed me too, if it wasn't so hard to do in the first place."

Ann had already heard as much about Drakken from Ronald. Kim had tried to kill Shego too; apparently it hadn't worked. "It was her choice," she chose to say.

Shego snorted. "I was a hero, once. When _I_ killed somebody, they tried to lock me away. Little miss goody two-shoes kills one, tries to kill another, and she doesn't even get arrested. I didn't kill for vengeance. Heck, I probably _saved_ lives in the long run. But Kimmie..." the villainess turned back to the redhead. "She said she hated me. Right before she kicked me into an electrified signal tower, which then collapsed on me. Your innocent little princess learned to _hate_ and to _kill_ on the same night. She'll never be the same. It'll eat her up one way or another, maybe even destroy her. _Don't let it_."

She turned and began to stalk away, deeper into the woods, but Ann's voice made her pause. "Why _do_ you care?"

The villainess almost told her the truth, but she managed to swallow it back down at the last second. "Pure self-interest," she said instead. "Taking over the world isn't really my thing, but if I decided to go for it, I'm pretty sure I'd pull it off. You brought Kimmie up to believe she can do anything. If she went bad like I did, it'd only be a matter of time. And I doubt I'd enjoy living in Kim's world, assuming I survive at all."

Ann watched Shego walk out of sight, then headed back to the others, considering the other woman's words. It hadn't been self-interest she saw on the green girl's face when she was looking at Kim. The doctor wasn't even sure it was only regret.

People began to drift away from the gathering, and eventually the Possible family were driving home in James' car. Ann had decided to ride in the back with Kim, hugging her as stared sullenly at nothing. Ron probably would have been there, but...

"Kimmie," she began, "Tell me what happened with Ronald."

The teenager frowned, and it looked like she wasn't going to answer. "He hit on me," she eventually grumbled.

"What's wrong with that? I've always said he's a very nice youn-"

"Mom!" Kim paused to control her temper, then practically seethed, "The twins had died right in front of us, we'd been captured and I had _just _found out Erik was a synthodrone. I wondered how I couldn't tell he was fake, and Ron _rubbed it in my face_. I bottomed out, gave up... and then he hit on me. While I was _heartbroken_ and _vulnerable_. That..." her voice shook with fresh anger, "That made me snap. If Rufus hadn't woken up and freed us..."

"Well, I admit his timing was terrible, but it sounds like he was trying to lift your spirits-"

"By offering himself as the rebound? As if!"

Ann remained silent for a long moment, then asked as gently as she could, "If he hadn't done that, would you still have tried to kill Drakken and Shego?"

"Yes," Kim answered without hesitation. "For the tweebs."

"You think they'd be happy their sister has taken a human life? _Any_ human life?" Kim glared at her mother; if she had called her a murderer, she might not have been able to hold her tongue. Regardless, Ann observed the look her daughter shot her and sighed. "I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive Ron someday."

"I don't know," Kim muttered, turning her gaze to the window, "I just don't know."

Ann continued to hold Kim, and decided to put off suggesting finding and talking to Shego. For now.


	5. Lazy Graviton Field

The cemetery was beautiful. Everything was trimmed grass sectioned off by flower beds, surrounded on most sides by woods that were just big enough to seperate the place from its surroundings. The result was a colourful, peaceful place to lay the recently deceased to rest.

Mourners gathered. Words were spoken. The coffin was lowered into the grave.

The ceremony ended, those assembled began speaking among themselves.

One among them caught a hint of movement at the edge of the woods, a figure they believed they recognised. Excusing themselves with a whisper, they left the congregation for the treeline to seek the figure out.

"Dude, I know you're here."

Wade edged uneasily around the tree he was hiding behind. "Hey, Ron."

"You _are_ actually here, right? Not a hologram?"

"I'm actually here."

"You wanna come over?" Ron nodded his head in the direction of the gathering.

The agoraphobic genius took one look and shivered. "Too many people. I'll go over when they're gone."

The blond nodded sympathetically before noticing the pink roses. "Those for her?"

Wade glanced down at the flowers in his hand. "Yeah." He turned his back to the tree and plopped down on the ground. Despite the rental Ron was wearing, he did the same. They both watched the crowd for a while in silence. At one point, Mrs. Possible spotted them, got her husband's attention, and they both waved.

The boys waved back.

"Do they blame me?" Wade asked.

"I think the only one blaming you is you."

"I told her it was an untested prototype, but she had faith in me, and it got her killed. I'd rather blame me than her."

Ron frowned at the boy, though his malice was not directed toward him. "You _should_ be blaming Shego."

Wade shrugged. "I dunno. I think the relationship between the two of them was more complicated than you think."

"Huh?"

"Using the Go glow, Shego can slice open a safe with her bare hands. She'd dial it down against people. And after fighting Kim for a while, she started using it less and less. Didn't you ever notice?"

"Uh, I was usually busy running for my life or messing with Drakken."

"Remind me to show you the security footage. My point is, Shego _liked_ Kim. She was the only one who could stand against her for over a minute. I think she enjoyed fighting her."

Ron remained unconvinced. "She wasn't dialing it down at BNHQ."

"Yeah, well... that's why I blame myself. Everyone thought Shego's power was plasma-based, even Global Justice-"

"The Go glow is based on blood?"

The boy genius blinked at the interruption, then blinked again at the misunderstanding. "No, that kind of plasma is the liquid blood cells are in. I'm talking about high-energy ionized gas."

"Uh, Wade? School words."

"You know those globes with lightning shooting around inside, and if you put your hand on the glass, the lightning focuses on where your hand is touching?"

"Oh, yeah. Those are cool."

"Weapons grade plasma usually needs some sort of superfrequency device. The theory was that Shego's mutation provided some sort of natural equivelant. I designed the shield to be effective against plasma, but the energy Shego was throwing around was purely kinetic in nature. That's why the shield failed. It's like... the blast troopers in Space Schisms. Their armour is designed to protect against energy weapons, but if you hit them with a big rock..."

"Oh. Yeah, I get it now. So... Shego's power isn't plasma?"

"Nope. And I should have known. Everything about Team Go's powers is pretty much theoretical. Plasma was the theory for Shego's glow, but her brothers don't use their glows the same way, even though they look the same aside from the colour. It all has to be the same kind of energy if they use it to access Go Tower!" Wade sighed. "I was lazy. I accepted the theories, and I think I did that because... well, because plasma fires in the Space Passage spinoffs were green."

Ron wasn't sure what to say about that. "Well... I can see why you'd blame yourself, but I still don't agree with it."

"I know, Ron. Thanks."

The boys sat in silence a while longer until the blond noticed his parents waving. "Looks like it's time to go. Get in touch in a few days, okay? If I'm going to keep filling Kim's shoes, I'm gonna need all the help I can get."

"O-okay."

They both got to their feet and shook hands. Wade hid behind the tree again as Ron walked away, and he stayed there for some time, peeking around occasionally as the gathering dispersed.

It was getting dark when the boy genius approached the grave and added his pink roses to the impressive mound of floral tributes before the headstone. "Hi, Kim," he began shakily, "I... I wish I could hear you ask what the sitch is. I know you wouldn't blame me either, tell me I still rock and all, but I can't help feeling guilty for my part in what happened. I want you to know that I'll try even harder to keep Ron safe. You'd be proud of him, but he's not you." Tears slid down his cheeks as he squeezed his eyes shut. "I'll miss you."

There was a soft noise, and Wade's eyes shot open to find an arrangement of hydrangeas had joined his roses on the pile. He turned to see Shego walking silently away. "Wait!"

The villainess stopped. Turned. She was crying too.

Wade gulped, then said, "If... if you want to stay... if you want to say anything..."

"Nothing to say," Shego replied. "If she's still... somewhere, she knows how I feel."

Wade watched her go until she was out of sight.


	6. Talraticide

The cemetery was beautiful. Everything was trimmed grass sectioned off by flower beds, surrounded on most sides by woods that were just big enough to seperate the place from its surroundings. The result was a colourful, peaceful place to lay the recently deceased to rest.

Mourners gathered. Words were spoken. The coffin was lowered into the grave.

The ceremony ended, those assembled began speaking among themselves.

One among them caught a hint of movement at the edge of the woods, a figure they believed they recognised. Excusing themselves with a whisper, they left the congregation for the treeline to seek the figure out.

"Kimberly." The teen hero turned to the familiar voice to see Dr. Director peeking out from behind a tree. "I'm surprised they let you out of their sight."

"Shego knows I won't risk any harm to my family."

"They've been captured, then." At Kim's confirming nod, Betty continued, "I'm so sorry, Kim. How are you?"

"Not as bad as expected, really. I expected execution or something, but... Shego's been taking care of me."

"Taking care of you?"

"Like a pet."

"...Then she really does take you 'shopping' on a leash and collar?"

"Yeah." Betty was surprised that Kim didn't sound more angry about it, but the teenager continued, "What about Drakken? Is everything he claims true?"

"The world is his," the brunette admitted, "Everyone who submits retains their free will, but anyone captured while resisting is mind controlled. Right now, everyone who's ever gone to college is doing manual labour... mostly cleaning up the mess his robots made."

"What about Global Justice?"

"We were funded by the United Nations. The only resources we have now are what we had in our possession when all this began. We've been sabotaging what we can, but we have precious little intelligence to work with."

"There's a control signal being broadcast from Bueno Nacho headquarters. It controls all the diablos. Take out the signal, Drakken loses his robot army."

"Understood. I'll see what I can do. If we can get sufficiently organised, we might be able to stage a worldwide strike at key points the moment the robots are neutralized." Betty hesitated a moment, then asked, "Who are they burying over there?"

"Rufus."

"The naked mole rat?"

"He and Drakken bonded while he was good - during the attitudinator incident - and I guess something carried over. Shego said that when we were captured, Erik... the synthodrone snapped Rufus' spine while we were unconscious. There was no other way to free ourselves before..." Kim trailed off at the memory, then shook her head and continued. "Shego said that when Drakken learned what the synthodrone had done, he had her rip it to shreds. I haven't seen him... it, since, so..."

"What is Shego's interest in you?" Dr. Director suddenly asked, and frowned as the teenager blushed.

"She likes to keep me around. Not just to rub it in... um. Like... whenever she's in the mood, we fight; if I win, she lets me talk to my family. And..." the blush deepened, "She's made it clear that she'd like to do... other things, with me..."

"I wasn't aware Shego was capable of rape."

Kim was quick to defend the villainess. "She isn't! She hasn't! All she's ever done is kiss me... and invite me to... do more. And she's made it clear she's not holding anything over my head for it, it's just... if I want to..."

"You're aware of Stockholm syndrome, Kimberly."

"Yeah... but to be completely honest, this has been going on for a a lot longer, on some level."

"...Oh." Betty didn't know what else to say to that.

"Maybe if you can find a way to let me know when you're going to take the world back, I could... keep her occupied."

"You'd do that?" the older woman asked in surprise.

"I keep saying I can do anything. I don't mind losing my virginity to save the world... at least, not like this."

In the silence that followed, Kim's choker suddenly sparked, shocking her. "Ngh! Time's up, I'd better get back. Whatever happens... good luck, Betty."

Dr. Director waited several minutes after Kim left before taking another peek at the gathering. The teen hero was consoling Ron Stoppable alongside Drakken, while Shego looked on. The look on the green girl's face was hard to read. Betty didn't like it. Synthodrones and cybertronic robots were one thing, but Shego was the wild card in Drakken's deck. Under the circumstances, perhaps Kim's idea would be... prudent.

But if Shego wasn't forcing Kim into anything, would it be ethical to use that against her? As Betty made her way back to the nearest transport tube, she realised she was more concerned with Kim taking advantage of that. What would it do to the girl? To both of them? If Kim could influence Shego, only to betray her...

Perhaps it was better not to risk the consequences.


	7. What They Really Hate

The cemetery was beautiful. Everything was trimmed grass sectioned off by flower beds, surrounded on most sides by woods that were just big enough to seperate the place from its surroundings. The result was a colourful, peaceful place to lay the recently deceased to rest.

Mourners gathered. Words were spoken. The coffin was lowered into the grave.

The ceremony ended, those assembled began speaking among themselves.

One among them caught a hint of movement at the edge of the woods, a figure they believed they recognised. Excusing themselves with a whisper, they left the congregation for the treeline to seek the figure out.

"Miss Possible?"

The teen hero edged around the tree she had been hiding behind. Not looking directly at him, she mumbled, "Hego."

The superhero regarded her with a conflicted gaze, before deciding, "You can join us, if you'd like to pay your respects."

Kim looked up at him, aghast. "How can I? It's my fault she's... that she's..."

"She never would have helped us with Aviarious if not for you. That's enough to prove she respected you. I'm sure she even appreciated your rivalry. As I understand it, you were the only one who could stand against her since she turned to evil."

"Hego, I _killed_ your sister!"

"I'm sure you didn't intend to."

Kim stared at him for a moment, then burst into tears. The overbuilt man in blue hemmed and hawed at the sight, scratching his head, at a loss for what to do.

"You don't... know..." Kim managed to exhale between tearful gasps.

"Well, uh... perhaps if you told me exactly what happened..." Hego trailed off as it occurred to him that such a request might not help matters at all. He considered himself fortunate when the teen hero responded to his suggestion by pulling herself together as best she could.

"Drakken activated the little diablos in Middleton first. They need a command signal to work. While we were busy taking out the local transmitter, Shego went to the school dance and kidnapped my boyfriend to hold him hostage. We went to rescue him and foil Drakken.

"I was wearing a prototype battle suit. It could repair itself, had all kinds of gadgets built in, enhanced my strength... and had a few tricks to nullify Shego's glow advantage."

Even Hego could tell Kim was not speaking of the battle suit fondly. "Well, that sounds perfectly reasonable under the circumstances."

The redhead only sighed before continuing. "I fought Shego and found my boyfriend... who turned out to be one of Drakken's synthodrones. He... he hugged me, zapped me, and when I woke up, we were captured. Rufus - Ron's pet, you remember, the naked mole rat - managed to free us, and we disabled the main transmitter, destroying the synthodrone in the process. Drakken and Shego tried to run, but Ron handled Drakken... and I..."

"You handled Shego," Hego said softly.

"We'd already foiled them," Kim said inconsolably, "I didn't have to... it felt like we had to capture them after this one, but... I was so angry at myself for not realising he was a fake, and Shego for playing me like that, and..." she started crying again, "I told her I hated her. Then I kicked her into the transmission tower. It electrocuted her until the impact brought the whole thing down. I watched, and... I was glad. I'd finally beaten her. I never thought I'd..." She broke off, the sobs threatening to return as well.

Hego was a stone. He had never expected to find himself in this position again. The last time had been with his sister; now it was with the girl that had killed her. He believed he had been right during that final argument, but look how that turned out. Whetever he was going to say, he had to be very careful.

"Shego killed someone in the course of her heroics."

The statement interrupted Kim's sniffles as she stared up at Hego in shock as he watched the congregation across the clearing. To her knowledge, Shego had never been directly responsible for anyone's death.

"It was the straw that broke the camel's back," the superhero continued, "The reason she left. I told her that as a hero, we had to hold ourselves to a higher standard. It was our duty to _apprehend_ villains. Perhaps the world is better off without the man she killed, but that isn't our call to make. Killing another human being is something you can never take back."

Hego finally looked back to the redhead with an ambivelant gaze. "You are a hero, Miss Possible... but you succumbed to vengeance. You are better than Shego because you feel remorse for your actions. I think you should keep that in mind."

"I've already had Wade disassemble the battle suit," Kim told him as she wiped her eyes, "But I don't know if I can save the world anymore. Not after this. I... I feel like I betrayed her, in a way." Now it was her turn to look across the clearing. "We may never have said it out loud, but we respected each other. And I know for a fact that she enjoyed fighting me. We forced each other to improve, kept pushing each other to be better. I don't think she would have had it any other way." The teenager actually giggled. "She even had a few pet names for me. Sometimes it was almost... um, almost like flirting."

She seemed embarrassed by that final admission, but Hego took it in stride. "I wouldn't be surprised. She was always... rebellious in the face of normalcy." He took a few steps away from the treeline, then turned to look back. "Perhaps you'll miss her as much as we do."

"I do. Tell your brothers... I'm sorry."

Hego nodded and went on his way. As Kim watched, he seemed to persuade everyone to move along. The mourners slowly departed, allowing Kim to approach in solitude. She didn't say anything, just sat beside the grave and cried until there was nothing left.

She was still there when night had fallen and Ron, prompted by Wade, arrived to take her home.


	8. What They Really Love

The cemetery was beautiful. Everything was trimmed grass sectioned off by flower beds, surrounded on most sides by woods that were just big enough to seperate the place from its surroundings. The result was a colourful, peaceful place to lay the recently deceased to rest.

Mourners gathered. Words were spoken. The coffin was lowered into the grave.

The ceremony ended, those assembled began speaking among themselves.

One among them caught a hint of movement at the edge of the woods, a figure they believed they recognised. Excusing themselves with a whisper, they left the congregation for the treeline to seek the figure out.

"Hello, Shego."

"Hello, Kimmie."

Shego looked different. She was still green, still wearing her trademark catsuit, but... it was her face. Her attitude. Not grumpy, not even sarcastic. Satisfied? Peaceful?

"Are you real?" Kim chose to ask.

"Uh, pretty much. As far as I've ever been able to tell. You... might wanna rephrase the question."

"Are you alive?"

"...No. I'm not that."

Kim had a vague sensation that she should have been more hopeful a moment ago, but she wasn't surprised by Shego's answer. She also had a sudden impulse to poke the green girl and see what happened, but it struck her as rude. "A ghost, then. After some of the things I've seen, I can believe in ghosts."

"Meh. Ghosts haunt. I don't see myself sticking around for that, unless it's to prank Dr. D or my brothers." She pointed her thumb in the direction of the gathering, of which Team Go was a part. "I'd rather think of myself as a free spirit."

"In any case, I guess I get my wish after all." Kim took a big breath before repeating the lines she had rehearsed countless times in her head. "I'm so sorry I killed you, Shego. The fake boyfriend really did a number on me. I was ready to give up, but Ron got me back in the game. Then when I saw all of you in that control room, saw Drakken gloating over my weakness, I got really angry. When we defeated you, Ron and I went to the prom together. We danced, we kissed." Kim smiled. "He called me at three in the morning to double-check." The smile fell. "We didn't know you were dead until the next morning."

She paused to see if the villainess had anything to say, but apparently she was content to listen, so Kim continued. "It took a few days to sink in, and then I totally freaked. Watching you sail into that tower and get zapped before it collapsed on you... I enjoyed it. It never occurred to me that you might not survive. I had my revenge, and I'd finally beaten you, once and for all. To find out I'd killed you... it was selfish, thinking about what _I'd_ done, not what I'd done _to you_. I was sorry I'd taken a life. I felt like I had to be punished, but they never even arrested me for it."

"Happens all the time, cupcake," Shego pointed out. "Side effect of the business, whichever team you're on. Besides, after all the times I tried to kill you, or left you to die, I'd say turnabout is fair play."

Kim shook her head. "No... what I did to you wasn't fair. I cut your life short. Who knows what you might have done in the future?"

"How could you know whether the future would be better or worse with me in it?" the green girl countered.

"I took the choice _away_, Shego. That's something I had no right to do." The teenager sighed. "And then, when I visited Drakken in prison, and he told me you never knew the plan until that night, the guilt _really_ set in. I didn't take a mission all summer. I cried myself to sleep every night. Ron tried to be there for me, but I wouldn't let him in. I couldn't believe I was worthy of him anymore. Him, Monique, my family... they took turns keeping me company whenever I left the house, which wasn't often. I wanted to be left alone. I deserved..."

Kim had wandered off the script, but it didn't seem to matter. She'd never expected to say anything to Shego's face ever again. What was one more admission? "I even thought about killing myself, you know. I actually considered how I'd do it. Would you believe I had a religious-based panic attack about it? What if the bible was right and I'd go to hell? I could beg forgiveness for killing you, but killing myself... it'd be too late, then, wouldn't it?"

"Don't ask me," the ghost said with a shrug, "I never paid much attention to that stuff."

"In the end I figured I belonged in hell, anyway. Besides, you were probably there too; in which case we could keep each other company forever."

Shego raised an eyebrow at the redhead. "Yeah... before I died, I would have considered _that_ hell."

"And after?"

"Death tends to change your outlook, princess. The money was fun but I couldn't take it with me. Besides, I ended up hoarding most of it for my retirement... except I had no plans to retire. Especially while you kept coming around for me to beat up on."

"As if," Kim responded automatically, but she smiled as she said it.

"My point is, I was having fun. I enjoyed my job, I enjoyed my vacations... and I enjoyed you most of all. The last few years, you've been the only thing in my life to really challenge me. The biggest downside to dying is that we don't get to smack each other around anymore."

"And you're not mad?"

"See 'new outlook' mentioned previously. I understand why you did it. I know you didn't mean to kill me. And hey... I always thought, if I don't get to die a rich old woman, I'd better live fast, die young and leave a gorgeous corpse. You may have left my hair completely frazzled, but," the villainess looked her nemesis in the eye and told her, "I forgive you, Kim."

"...Thank you, Shego. That means so much, coming from you. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself, but it helps to know that you do. Assuming I haven't gone mad and you're a figment of my imagination." Kim took a cleansing breath, then turned to face the gathering. "I don't want to leave you alone, but I should probably get back. They'll wonder where I've gone."

Shego stepped up beside her, matching the teen hero's gaze before glancing over at the redhead and asking in the softest voice Kim had ever heard, "Who do you think they're burying over there?"

Kim didn't answer. She just stared across the clearing at all the people who'd turned up. Her family. Her friends. So many of the people she'd helped since she started doing more than babysitting.

It was funny. She didn't feel like crying... but a tear slid down her cheek anyway.

"They'll be okay, pumpkin. They'll miss you, but they'll survive. And you'll all be together again, someday."

Shego slid her hand into Kim's and felt the teenager grip it tightly. "Come on, Kimmie. Take a walk in the woods with me."

Kim let Shego lead her away.


	9. Author's Notes

This idea has been on my mind for some time. In the early days of my KP fanfiction reading frenzy, I came across several involving deaths and/or funerals. When I finally saw So The Drama, I kept thinking of where things could have gone horribly wrong if only it wasn't a Disney cartoon.

I made a list, with a few notes. That's how it stayed for some time.

My own mother has been dead for over a decade, but I had a backup, so to speak. A friend of my mother's, a matriarchal figure who gave a damn about me. She passed away late last year, and her family seems a little lost without her. The aftermath helped me flesh out most of the potential chapters.

Reaching So The Drama in Between Bouts is what finally crystallized the concept and got me into a decent editing mood.

Ann was never going to die, partly because the opportunity never particularly arose in STD, but because it was a little too close too home.

The opening punch Kim gives Drakken at the start of the final confrontation could have been fatal, but Drakken's survived Shego this long, so even a hit enhanced by the battle suit is unlikely to kill him. It would have been a rather anti-climactic end, regardless, unless Shego really tried to kill Kim afterwards, and that's already been covered.

And it just wasn't plausible that Ron would go batshit crazy and kill Drakken for ruining Bueno Nacho and having trouble remembering his name.

As for what I actually wrote... I'm not sure why I had to start each chapter the same way, but I did. Perhaps because each chapter is self-contained. Rewriting STD so that one person after another dies isn't what I was trying to do with this; I guess I could try it sometime, but currently feel no compulsion to do so. Maybe after I finish The Fall, assuming I ever do.

I also tried to do not just a different pairing per chapter, but different characters. It led to a series of impausible conversations that didn't fit the mood of what I was trying to do. Talraticide comes closest to that, but it still makes sense to me.

Maybe I should do this chapter by chapter. Let's give it a go.

**Bad Beat, Fouled Hand**

If the poker references don't make it obvious enough, this is the first opportunity to get someone killed after Drakken's line. Kim has never looked hotter... so let's contrast that by removing her face and having Shego wiggling her fingers in Kimmie's brains. What worse time for it to happen than right before That Smirk, am I right? If I watched horror movies, I might know of a shot where a redhead gets something nasty in the face; splice it in, and Shego's tugging would mean something completely different.

Ron has a habit of not butting in on kigo fights. He'd be kicking himself for not doing it here. Hence the way he steps up after Kim's death. He may not be ready to go all monkeymasta like in Graduation, but we know it can kick in when he calls on it. Which he'd have to. Whether or not he kills Shego the next time they cross paths is beyond the purview of the story. Contrary to what seems to be popular belief these days, it's good to leave some things hanging forever.

**Never Wear a Lifejacket Again**

If you haven't seen Jaws, you're a young whipper-snapper who needs to get off my lawn. Otherwise, you should get the title reference. From the state of James' cothes, he appears to have been chewed without any real damage; it never really works out like that. Ocean predators don't do that. And given the fact that the man was completely submerged... well. Disney cartoon, all that needs saying, really.

Ron's crippling guilt isn't something parents like his could cure, but the Possibles can. They'd have to. Kim's dad's life is at stake, and it's still sidekick hijinx as usual? Here's a dose of reality for you, buffoon. You've got a synthodrone to fight in the big finish!

James' death doesn't stop Drakken's plan from unfolding - I doubt he'd feel enough remorse to stop, if he feels any at all - so Erik is present, and of course he's the hottest mourner of them all. I'm thinking Armani.

**Automatic Choke Failure**

What can a bunch of itty bitty bots do to a person? Pinching, poking, not much else. But wait! What if they can produce miniaturized versions of their state of the art weapons? Then you've got an extremely uncomfortable way to go. When the small are many, they are stronger than the strongest. And if Ron Stoppable can't do anything, not getting his scooter started as he tries to flee is the most obvious way for him to scew up and get himself killed.

Without Ron and Rufus, Kim fails utterly, due to emotional distraction and the lack of back-watching. Drakken wins, but she's still in play, so it's up to Erik to deliver the winning move. You know it's coming, it's just a question of when... and there's no need to see what happens after checkmate, unless I really want to stick a pin in it. Erik carrying the unconscious Kim back to her family only to deliver her into Shego's hands when she pops up, or something like that... but I think my ending is better.

**Peine Fort et Dure**

The French used to put increasingly heavy stones on a suspect until they confessed; it was a legitimate courtroom tactic. The tweebs got off light in comparison. The idea was inspired by the thought: if these things are toys for kids, won't a whole mess of kids be the first casualties when the whole thing pops off?

Everyone spends such a long time reacting to the command signal; what took the diablos so long? Dramatic licence, of the cartoon variety. How about a pair of bloodstains instead? I'm assuming the Possible parents pull together in a crisis enough to get the rocket scooter finished regardless, but it raises questions. What would have happened differently at BNHQ? How would Shego react, having young twin brothers of her own?

As well as Kim losing her innocence in the worst possible way, I felt compelled to point out something mentioned in the KP slash haven forums, that Ron made his move on Kim at the worst possible time. We have enough difficulty believing a romantic relationship between them would work in the first place; I have no problem making it even worse.

**Lazy Graviton Field**

I can't remember how I chose the title, but I'm sure it was scientifically relevant. It's always kinda bugged me how everyone says Shego's power is plasma. When I started posting Getting Things Rolling in the KP slash haven forums, the first page of the thread was consumed by scientific debate about how hot she can burn. I maintain in my fics that it is NOT plasma... though I have no alternative to speak of. They never really explained how Superman can do half the things he does, either. Lasers _and_ X-rays? How do _those_ eyes work?

Shego goes crazy with the glow in that fight (though not in the rematch, did you notice?) and Kim 'bubbles' before playing catch. What if Wade assumes what everyone else has guessed and, as a result, cocks up big time? The only drawback is that I refer to Shego fans as "everyone, including Global Justice." Insult or compliment, it's bad news either way.

Of course, I have about as much idea of what he's talking about as Ron, but I do recall the reason people gave as to why a bunch of furballs beat an entire legion of the emperor's best troops.

**Talraticide**

Tal being mole, of course.

Shego's busy enjoying bondage fun with unconscious Kimmie when she hears a snap. She turns and sees Erik with Rufus in his hand, bent at an extremely unhealthy angle. When Drakken learns of it, Shego gets another close encounter of the gooey kind... but the fact remains, our heroes are left tied up with no way out, a broken little body getting cold next to Kim's backpack.

This should satisfy everyone who hates how Disney forced the writers to add an over-intelligent animal to the mix. I've always wondered if they chose the most penis-like one on purpose.

Kim has failed, Drakken controls the world, and Shego... is being nicer to her Kimmie than expected. Perhaps now would be a good time to stop ignoring the subtext, eh?

Global Justice is usually believed to pick up the slack when it comes to the villains of KP's world. If Kim should ever fail, it's up to them to finish the job. I'm not sure they'd succeed in this particular instance, so I'm glad I don't have to decide. Besides, Betty's really hot. I haven't written enough of her.

**What They Really Hate**

This one has been a favourite of fanfiction writers, I think. What if Shego doesn't survive Kim's hate-fuelled kick?

Hego's the easiest of Team Go to write for various reasons, but it made the most sense for it to be him since he's the most likely catalyst for Shego's departure. This chapter also revisits earlier themes like loss of innocence and guilt from killing.

You know what? Trying to write about it now, I think it really is just a setup for the last chapter.

**What They Really Love**

...I hope it was a surprise.


End file.
